


My Space Dork

by RoseyR



Series: Space Geek and the Wild Child [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Blackmail, Craig is a dork, Craig is obsessed with space, Humor, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, POV Tweek, Panic Attacks, Revenge, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Space Geek, Teenagers, Wild Child Tweek, glasses wearing Craig, painter Tweek, possessive Tweek, wild child - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 18:09:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15054857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyR/pseuds/RoseyR
Summary: Craig is a dork. A very handsome dork. If he wasn't wearing glasses, all the girls would probably be into him. However, whether he has glasses or not, Tweek loves him no matter what, but that doesn't mean he doesn't get jealous.





	My Space Dork

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another Space Geek and Wild Child story! I'm glad a lot of you enjoy these stories, no matter how weird or insane they can be! I seriously don't understand why you guys like this, but oh well. No matter how ooc Craig and Tweek can be here, I'm glad you like them???
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy and look forward to more in the future!

In my opinion...Craig is a huge dork...actually, I think that is what everyone's opinions are of him. Heck, even my parents think he's a dork. Does Craig care? Not really, he just continues being an adorable dork who loves looking at stars and planets. He's my favorite dork and I'm keeping him.

However, I know for a fact that girl would probably want to go out with him if he didn't have those huge glasses of his. I don't understand why his glasses are a turn off, have you seen his face after you come all over it? It's so adorable! I'm already picturing it now...

"Uh...Tweek...why are you painting my face like that?"

"Huh?" I looked down at my canvas. Whoops...I painted Craig looking at me with cum all over his face. "Whoops," I giggled.

"Were you thinking about coming all over my face again?" Craig sighed as he sat down.

"I couldn't help it, just imagining your face...and...and...nnnggg...oh why did you have to break your arm, we can't have sex when you're like this you know," I pouted as I stare at the cast around Craig's right arm.

"Well it's not my fault that somebody wasn't holding the ladder when I was trying to get down from the roof."

"The cops were coming!"

"No, it was Hank the security guard," Craig sighed.

"Yeah well...he would have arrested us for trespassing school grounds at night!"

"Since when did you care about that?"

"...My parents were going to take away my paints if they found out I got in trouble again," I sighed.

"Don't you have dirt on Hank?"

"I do...but I don't like blackmailing people that often."

"Yet...you loved blackmailing me when we first started hanging out," Craig sighed.

"Yeah yeah...oh and is your arm itchy by the way? It must be hard with that cast on," I smirked.

"...God damn it Tweek!" I watched as Craig tries to scratch his arm underneath the cast, but he couldn't reach. "You did that on purpose."

"Only because you dare defy me," I smirked and walked over towards him. I kiss him on the lips and took out that scratching tool that I bought for Craig when he had to get a cast. "There you go."

"...I really hope that painting you did on the roof was worth it," Craig sighed, but he looked please when I started scratching his arm.

"Oh it was. I already got thousands of retweets of it. You should have seen that principal's face."

"I'm still surprised how we weren't caught, considering I fell and broke my arm because of you," Craig said.

"Old news," I whistled and kiss him on the cheek.

"Ugh, I really hate this thing. I can't even write without getting someone to help me..."

"Antisocial as always, huh?"

"What do you expect? I've been on my own for seven years already," Craig sighed.

"Only because of those dorky glasses of yours," I said as I walked towards Craig and pull off his glasses.

"H-hey, I need those!"

"I seriously can't believe how these things actually work. They're so ridiculous," I giggled as I inspected the glasses. They were so perfectly round, how in the world do they stay on Craig's face?

"Tweek, seriously. Give those back." Craig stands up and tries to take his glasses back.

I held them up and pushed Craig away. I start admiring his face. "You really are handsome. Boy, don't I make all the girls jealous since I'm dating you."

"Will you cut it out and give me back my glasses," Craig tries reaching for them, but that only gave me an opportunity to kiss him. "Tweek, come on!" Craig was blushing.

"I can get use to seeing your cute face like this," I smiled.

"Seriously, you're going to break them!"

"Quit worrying, I ain't going to-" I was walking back while Craig was still trying to reach for them, I completely forgot about the canvas behind us. I tripped and we both fell down.

I suddenly hear something breaking...glass breaking...uh oh.

"...Tweek...what was that?"

"...I'm so sorry."

* * *

"Craaaaaaaaiiiiig! Please don't be mad at me!" I cried out as I held onto my boyfriend's arm.

"Tweek, I'll stay mad at you for as long as I live!" Craig glared at me as he tries pulling his arm back.

"I said I was sorry! I'll pay you back!"

"Even if you did, my parents were pissed at me last night! They started complaining to me how those glasses were expensi- ow...fuck!" I winced when Craig's head hit an open locker door.

"You sure you should be going to school when you can't even see?"

"I'll be fine. It's not like I have any tests today. I'll just have to ask someone to take my notes," Craig sighed.

"Still, maybe you should stay home until your new glasses arrive."

"No thanks, I'm not skipping a day of school just because you were stupid enough to- ow! fuck!" Craig winced when he hits his head on another open locker door. "Why are you just letting me hit my head! I thought you were suppose to help me watch where I'm going!"

"I'm too busy trying to make you not mad at me!" I whined.

"You know what...fuck you Tweek," Craig pulls his arm away from me again and starts walking off, but he was having difficulties since he kept bumping into people, a few trash cans, and a few lockers.

"God damn it Craig," I sighed and tried my best to catch up to him.

"Was that...Craig?"

"Woah...why isn't he wearing glasses?"

"Who cares...he's...hot."

I stopped and glared at the two girls who were talking about my Craig. I stuck out my tongue and flipped the girls off. "He's mine!" I then ran after Craig.

How can those girls talk about somebody else's boyfriend like that!? I was literally standing right there when they started blabbing their mouths! Hmph! Maybe I should start spreading rumors about them.

"Oh my god...did you see Craig just now?"

"I know! I always knew he was cute without those glasses, but I never thought he'd look good."

I glared at those girls and continued trying to find Craig. Maybe I should leave spiders in their lockers...

"Girl, you saw Craig?"

"Hell yeah. I wouldn't mind looking at that face all day..."

I can probably dump pain all over them. Just gotta figure out where their classes...

"Dude, Craig is...hot."

"Wait...aren't you straight?"

"Yeah but...he's hot..."

"...Okay.."

I'll throw eggs at his supposedly straight dick! I'll throw eggs at him all day!

"Craig is so cute!"

I'll pour baking soda all over her hair.

"I wonder if Craig is dating anyone..."

Well duh! He's dating me thank you very much! I hope you like cockroaches in your lunch!

"Craig is..."

"He's so..."

"I wouldn't mind going out with him."

"Craig."

"Craig."

"Craig..."

With every step I take, I get more and more irritated by the minute. What is up with these assholes!? Before Craig stopped wearing his glasses, everyone just ignored him or bully the shit out of him! Now they just want to bang him...or have him bang them! This is ridiculous!

"Hey...you think I should ask Craig out?"

"Go for it, it's not like he's dating anyone."

"That's it!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. "Stop eyeing my man you little whores! He's mine! Mine mine mine! Don't touch my Craig!" I shouted. Everyone was staring at me with surprised looks. Good! "If I see you going anywhere near my Craig, I'll fucking kick all of your-" I suddenly felt a hand over my mouth and I started struggling. I looked up and see Clyde and Token.

"Hey Tweek, You mind we talk? Great!" Token signals Clyde and the two started carrying me out of there. We ended up in the boy's restroom.

"Dude, what was that!?" Clyde exclaimed.

"Those fuckers wouldn't stop talking about my Craig! I hate it!"

"Well you gotta admit...Craig does look good without his glasses," Clyde said. I punch him in the stomach. "Ow! Fuck..."

"Tweek, calm down," Token said.

"How can I fucking calm down when the entire school wants to fuck with my boyfriend!"

We suddenly hear flushing. We looked at the stall and saw Butters coming out. "Well golly...I don't want to fuck with your boyfriend Tweek."

"Oh but you do! Everyone does! Even you two!" I exclaimed.

"Tweek, you're hysterical."

"No I'm being right! I bet you two only wanted to be friends with Craig again because you secretly want to fuck him! You guys want to have a threesome with him!"

"What the fuck Tweek," Token exclaimed.

"I like Craig, sure...but I don't want to have a threesome with two dudes..no offense Toke."

"Clyde, shut up. Butters...you can go."

"Okay," Butters quickly washes his hands and then leaves.

"Nnnggg...I'm sorry...I'm just...I don't like it when people suddenly start having an interest in Craig! They completely forget that I'm dating him!"

"We get it Tweek, you're jealous that Craig is getting all of this attention. Just stop worrying about it so much."

"How? What if Craig breaks up with me now that he's popular? What if he starts realizing he wasn't gay this entire time and goes out with a pretty cheerleader!?"

"Or..maybe Craig really is gay and goes out with a jock!" Clyde gasped. Token hits him on the head. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You're not helping. Look, I know Craig. Craig isn't the type to do that. Craig likes you a lot Tweek, so trust him."

"I do trust him! I just don't trust the entire student body! What if some skank takes Craig away from me!? Ugh! I'm going to lose it!"

"Aren't you already losing it?" Clyde said.

"Fuck you!" I exclaimed and punched Clyde in the stomach again.

"Ow! Why are you guys hitting me today?" Clyde cried.

"Look Tweek, just ignore it. Craig won't leave you, he will never start dating a cheerleader...or jock...and he'll definitely still choose you over being popular."

"...You really think so?"

"I know so," Token said.

I looked at the ground. Yeah...he's right. This is Craig we're talking about. Craig would never do that. Craig loves me, and I love him!

"Oh my god...Craig bumped into my chest by accident!"

"Lucky! I want him to touch my chest! Let's try finding him so he can bump into my chest!"

We hear a couple of girls talking outside the restroom. I got angry again.

"...We better go find Craig before he bumps into more chests."

"I'm going to kill him," I growled as I left the restroom. When I find Craig...I'm making sure to tie him to me so he doesn't get lost again. I'll make sure that everyone knows that Craig is mine!

* * *

"Craig!" I happily see Craig. He was wearing his glasses again. "There you are, I see you got your new glasses."

"...Why are you talking to me?" Craig said.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Why are you talking to me?" Craig repeated.

"We're dating, remember? If you're still mad that I broke you old pair of glasses then I'm so-"

"Dating? Me and you?" Suddenly a bunch of girls appeared and had their hands on Craig. "Why the fuck would I date a weirdo like you?"

"Craig...what are you..." I paled when I see Craig taking off his glasses and crushing them. "Craig! Your glasses! Why would you do that!?"

"Because I'm popular now! Why would I need something so...dorky?"

"Craig...come on...this isn't you," I tried grabbing Craig's hand, but one of the girls scratches my hand away.

"Leave him alone you weirdo!"

"Yeah skank! He's our boyfriend now!"

Suddenly the ground started shaking and the ground underneath the three grew and became a mountain. I looked up and see Craig with other people.

"Craig!" I called out. I try climbing the mountain. I finally managed to get on the top, but to my horror, I see Craig, on a bed, with a bunch of naked people. "Craig! How could you!"

Craig smirked and grabs somebody's dick. "Because, I don't need someone like you anymore. Why would I date you when I have all these people here."

"But...but Craig..." I felt my tears falling from my eyes. "I love you!"

Craig stares at me before letting go of the cock he was holding. He walks towards me. I thought he was going to help me up, but instead, he puts his foot on my hand. "You. Mean. Nothing." Craig stomps on my hand and I start falling.

"Craig!" I screamed. Everything went black.

I wake up in cold sweat. I feel like vomiting. "Oh god..." I quickly ran to my bathroom and threw up in the toilet. "S-shit...I'm having...a-a...a-attack...nnngg...I got to f-find it..." I headed back to my room and rummage through my dresser. "C-come on...w-where is it? Where is it? Please...please..." I finally found Craig's t-shirt. I hugged it tightly against my chest and put my face over it. "You're fine...you're fine...the monsters aren't going to get you...you're fine...you're fine..." I start breathing normally. I calmed down my heart and I no longer felt the monsters around me anymore.

"...Fuck..." I start crying as I put my face into Craig's t-shirt. What an awful dream! Dream Craig let me fall! Craig tried to...

I looked down at the shirt in my hand. No...that wasn't my Craig. That was just my brain making up a fake Craig. A Craig that I feared. My Craig wouldn't do that. He's help me up. He'd leave his favorite t-shirt with me so that whenever I feel like I'm having a panic attack, I can hug his shirt to calm myself down. Craig would never hurt me. He cares about me...

"...Nnngg...when are you going to get your glasses back?" I cried out as I hugged the shirt tightly. I wish Craig was here...I want him to tell me that he would never leave me. I want him to tell me he loves me. I just want Craig here...holding me, rubbing my back till I finally calmed down.

I wish Craig was here....

* * *

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I was scared that I would have that same nightmare again. I was walking to school when I see Craig.

"Craig!" I happily runs towards him, but noticed a girl was next to him.

"Tweek," Craig said as he stares at me. Am I....still dreaming? No wait...his cast...dream Craig didn't have a cast...this is my Craig! What's going on here!?

"Hi Tweek," the girl said. I think her name was Red, but I'm sure her real name was Bertha or something....

"Hey..." I stare at Red and then look at Craig. "Why is she here?"

"She's helping me get to school while I don't have my glasses."

"I can take you to school! You could have asked me!" I exclaimed.

"Well Red offered earlier...and you live farther away from my house," Craig sighed.

"You could have asked Clyde then! Aren't you two neighbors!?" I exclaimed.

"Clyde has to wake up early for football practice. Tweek, what's going on right now?"

"Nothing! I'm just...I don't know why you couldn't have asked me to take you to school is all...I am your boyfriend," I pouted.

"Yes you are, but I'm still pissed at you for breaking my glasses. This is punishment," Craig said.

"Nnnggg..." I fidget a bit and grab Craig's left arm. "Sorry, but he's my boyfriend, so I should be the one to walk him to school!" I said. I start dragging Craig along.

"Oh...uh...okay? See you later..."

"Tweek, what the fuck was that about?" Craig asked as he takes his arm away from me. That hurt...

"I'm sorry...okay...so...please stop being mad at me...I don't...I don't...like this kind of punishment at all..." I said.

"...You alright?" Craig grabs my face with his left hand and starts rubbing my cheek with his thumb. "Did you have another panic attack last night?"

"...Yeah...but I managed thanks to your shirt..."

"You should have told me," Craig sighed and pulls me in for a hug. I snuggle closer to him, making sure to be careful around his cast arm. "I'm sorry for saying I was punishing you. It really wasn't..."

"I know...you're not the type to punish me anyways..."

"Yeah well...still...I'm...I'm not mad at you anymore."

"You promise?"

"I promise," Craig holds my face and looks at me. "I love you."

I smiled. Those were the words I've been wanting to hear. "I love you t-"

"Craig!" I was suddenly shoved to the side and I see a couple of girls surrounding Craig around.

"Uh...yeah? Who are you?" Craig said as he squints his eyes a bit. A few of the girls were giggling at that. My blood was boiling.

"It's me, Annie. We have astronomy together."

"Oh right. Uh...hey?" Craig gave her a short wave, a few of the girls around him started giggling again. "Um...what do you guys want?"

"Well...we were wondering if you could help us study for the astronomy test," Annie said.

"Oh...you want...my help?"

"Course, you are the most knowledgeable when it comes to this kind of stuff," Annie said, her face was way too close.

"Oh uh...sure? I guess I can help you guys," Craig said.

"Great, you can help us now!" Annie grabs Craig's hand and started taking him away from me!

"Craig?" I called out.

"Tweek! Just...uh...I'll talk to you later! I'll try to finish up as fast as I can!"

"Craig!" I called out.

"I see you later!" Craig shouted. He was gone.

"...Craig..." I stared at the direction they went. "...Those fucking whores..." I hate it. I hate seeing those girls drag my Craig away. I'm done with this bullshit!

I want revenge.

I quickly ran to school. Those girls better watch out, cause the wild child of South Park High is on the loose!

* * *

"You want us to do what?" Token stares at me with a shocked expression. Clyde was staring at me with a confused one.

"Ugh...what is there to not get?"

"I don't know...maybe the part where you're asking me to go into the vents, head towards the girl's locker room, and put pictures of Annie having sex with Jason in her locker!"

"See, you do understand," I patted Token's shoulder.

"No dude, what the actual fuck!? Why do you want me to put these pictures into Annie's locker!?"

"Because, I know that Annie had sex with Jason when Jason is currently dating Lola, and since Lola has a locker next to Annie, she'll see the pictures and she, along with the other girls will call Annie a skank for having sex with Jason!"

"...Dude...where did you even get these pictures?"

"I have my sources..." I said. "Now will you just do it?"

"Why?"

"Ugh, it's because that skank took my Craig away!" I exclaimed.

"Tweek...you're insane."

"Yes, we've established that many times already. Now will you do this for me?"

"No! Of course not! We are not sneaking into the girl's locker room and putting this pictures in Annie's locker!"

"Okay then, I'll just post that image of you masturbating to a picture of Nichole!" I shouted.

"W-what?" Token's eyes widen.

I pulled out my phone and showed him a picture of his naked self, holding a picture of Nichole."

"Seriously, where are you getting these pictures from?" Clyde questioned.

"Shut up Clyde, I got dirt on you too!" I said.

"Tweek, you better not post that," Token said.

"I won't if you help me out here! I'm going crazy over this!"

"Just talk to Craig, I'm sure he'll-"

"No! Talking won't do...not with all those girls clinging onto him like monkeys!"

"Tweek, come on..."

"Token, I swear to god, if you don't do this for me, I'll make sure that Nichole is the first person to see this!" I said.

"...Okay fine...just...promise me you'll...delete that later..."

"Fine," I said.

"Ugh...now I know how Craig felt when you blackmailed him," Token said.

"Yeah well, I always get my way. So Token, all you have to do is go into the vents. Find the girl's locker room, put the photos in Annie's locker. Clyde here will make sure no girls come in while you're doing your job. As for me, I'll be sure to distract the coaches. Got it?"

"Yeah, got it," Token sighed.

"...Seriously...how did you take these pictures? Most of these looked like they were taken inside!"

* * *

I crawled into the air vents. I usually love coming in here when I need to escape from gym, but right now, I have a mission. I have to make sure Token did his job earlier. I finally reached the vents that leads to the girl's locker room. I looked down and watched everything unfold.

"I saw you talking to Craig earlier," Lola giggled.

"Yep, got him to help me, 'study,'" Annie air quoted. "Honestly, I couldn't care less about the topic, but seeing Craig looking so happy when I asked him questions was so cute. Oh...if only he wasn't gay, I'd totally ask him out."

"I don't know, maybe if you hang out with him enough, he'll dump wild child and date you instead!"

I glared at them. Those fucking bitches...

"I can only hope," Annie giggles. She finally opens her locker and I smile when I see the photos. Good job Toke. "Huh?"

"Hey...what's this?" Lola walks over and grabs a photo. "I-is this you...and J-Jason!?"

"Wait..no...this...who put these here!" Annie exclaimed.

"You bitch! You know me and Jason are dating!"

"No no no! These...me and him were drunk and...this was taken way before you and him got together!"

"Uh...I'm not blind. I can see the calendar in the back there!" Lola exclaimed.

"Listen...I can...I can explain!"

"You fucking bitch!"

"Whore!"

"Skank!"

"Lola...guys! Come on...it meant nothing! Please listen to me!" I watched as Annie chases after them.

I smiled and brought out my phone. "Thank you Token."

I got Annie...now for the rest.

* * *

I went to Britney's house. I remember that she was one of the girls that dragged Craig away from me as well. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. It was Britney.

"Uh...what do you want?" Britney said.

"Just wanted to talk. Can I come in?" I asked.

"...Okay..." Britney let's me in and we sit down on her couch. "So...what? Why are you here?"

"I've noticed that...you've taken an interested in Craig recently," I said.

"Yeah? So? You're not here to tell me to back off just because you're dating him are you?"

"Oh no no no...well...actually yeah," I smiled.

She scoffs, "get over yourself weirdo. Just because you two are dating doesn't mean you have to be so possessive over him."

"That's the thing...I do have the right to be possessive over him. He's my boyfriend after all, as since I don't like you hanging around him so much like a tramp that you are, I think you need to back off," I smiled.

"Who the fuck are you right now!? Get out of my fucking house!"

"Okay...but it would be ashamed if your parents see these..." I threw a yellow envelope on the coffee table and Britney grabs it. She opens it up and pales when she sees the photos inside.

"H-how did you..."

"I am the wild child...remember?" I smirked. "Oh Britney...I can't believe you had sex with a teacher...your parents are going to do more than ground you you know," I smiled.

"...S-so what? Me and him aren't together anymore..."

"Yeah...but he could still get arrested for fucking a minor..." I smiled.

"You wouldn't..."

"Oh I would," I glared at her. "I have copies of these back at home. I can get rid of them for you if you promise to stop eye fucking my Craig!"

"Okay okay...I won't do it anymore...just...please...please don't tell my parents...please..."

"...Fine," I take out my lighter and grabbed the envelope from her hands. I put the envelope on fire. "If you break your promise then I'll break your parents' hearts," I smiled. I get up, I threw the envelope into a trash bin, and left.

One more to go...

* * *

"Tweek...you in there?" I hear Craig outside of my room.

I smiled, "come in."

"Hey," Craig said as he grabs hold of the walls.

"How the fuck did you get here?" I giggled.

"Clyde helped me out...but it was difficult since he kept eyeing at a couple of girls on the way," Craig sighed as he finds my bed and sits down.

"Where's Clyde now?"

"I told him to fuck off," Craig said.

"Hm...how's your arm?" I said as I eyed the cast.

"Getting better, still have to wear this thing for a couple more days."

"It must suck even more since you can't see shit right now," I said.

"Yeah..." Craig sighed, "...hey...you been alright?"

"Hm? Why?"

"I don't know...I just...I haven't seen you around lately. Token and Clyde have been saying how you've been running around being...well....you...and well...we haven't been together for awhile..."

"I'm sorry Craig, I've just been busy with stuff..."

"Oh..." Craig looks down. Was he...pouting?

"Do you...miss me?" I smirked.

"W-what? Of course not...it's not like...I'm not a busy guy myself...it's just...I don't know...it's weird not...uh...having you around," Craig said.

"Aw...Craig," I walk over to him and kiss him on the lips. "Ugh...I seriously wish you could take that cast off...I want to fuck you so badly," I said.

"...Me too," Craig said shyly. I smiled and kiss him once more. I sat on his lap and pushed him over my bed. "Jesus...you're kissing me really hard here," Craig said.

"I miss you too," I said.

"..." Craig smiles and kisses me. I love him...I love him so much. "So...what are you doing anyways?"

"Well right now...I'm painting a masterpiece," I smiled.

"Oh...wish I could see it," Craig said as he squint his eyes.

"Yeah, but looks like you won't be able to see it since...well...this is a little present to someone," I smiled. I stared at the painting of Rachel. The last girl who was with Craig. I painted her completely naked. I'm sure a bunch of perverts would love to get their hands on this painting...

"...What's so funny?" Craig asked. Whoops.

"Nothing."

"You sure? Cause...you were laughing...evilly..."

"Hey...it's me...Tweek...the wild child of South Park High...of course I would be laughing evilly for no reason." I smirked as I stare at the painting. You better watch out you bitch...

"...Okay...weirdo," Craig sighed and sat on my bed. "So are we going to finish that personal painting of yours or what?"

"Right, on it!" I smiled. I love these moments with Craig. It was just me and him. Like it should always be.

* * *

"W-wait...what?"

"You heard me....if you don't step off from Craig, I'll be sure to sell this online. Just imagine how many perverts are going to jack off from this image..."

"You can't...this is illegal!"

"Please..it's South Park, the laws here are terrible," I smirked.

"Okay okay..fine...I'll...I'll stop flirting with Craig..."

"Good choice," I got out my lighter and burned the painting. "If you break your promise, I'll be sure to paint another one, it'll be even more lewd than this one." I smirked.

"...Tweek?"

I froze and turned around. I see Craig, standing a few feet away from me. He was wearing glasses.

"...H-hey...Craig..."

"...What are you doing?" Craig stares at me, at Rachel, then at the burning painting.

"...N-nothing..." I said.

"Really now? Cause to me...it looks like you're blackmailing that girl over there with a painting of her, and now you're burning it."

"...Uh..." Rachel closes the door and I quickly start knocking. "Let me in!"

"Tweek..."

I froze and look back. "...I can explain..."

* * *

"Craaaaaaaiiiiiiggg!" I whined as I clung on his arm.

"Fuck off," Craig glared at me. Jesus, I can actually feel the ice from his glares.

"But I said I was sorry!"

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to those girls you threatened."

"But why? They were the ones being all flirty with you! All because you weren't wearing your glasses for a couple of days..."

"So what? What you did was awful! You could have screwed their lives up! What you did was illegal!"

"Pff...does the legal system matter here?"

"...It does!" Craig sighs and walks off.

"Come on! Now that you're wearing glasses again, people are ignoring you! Just how you like it!"

"How would you know I like this?"

"...You...you actually...like the attention?" I asked nervously.

"Well...not really..but still, you shouldn't have gotten Token and Clyde into this."

"I'm sorry...okay...I just...I was worried you were going to leave me..." I said as I hug him.

"..." Craig sighed and pats my head. "You are seriously fucked up..."

"...Then...you're fucked up too if you're dating me," I smiled at him.

"Don't be cute, fucker," Craig pushes me away, but I can still see the small smile on his face. Yes! Cute face Tweek wins again!

"Craig, there you are," Red suddenly comes up and smiles at Craig. Wait...what?

"W-what do you want? Can't you see he's wearing glasses now?" I said as I hold Craig's arm.

"Uh...yeah...I'm glad you can see now. Now I don't have to read you your notes, I can just write them for you since your arm is still healing," Red smile.

"Thanks again for that," Craig smiled.

"...What is this..." I eyed the both of them.

"Oh right, you're coming over to my house, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"What? Why are you going to her house!?" I exclaimed.

"We have a project together," Red said.

"Was I talking to you," I glared at her.

"Tweek," Craig pulls me to the side. "I'm sorry for him, he's been very moody..."

"Moody my ass!" I exclaimed.

"It's fine. So I'll see you at four?"

"I'll be there," Craig said.

"Great," Red smiled. "I'll see you later. Um...it was uh...nice seeing you too, Tweek."

"Fuck you!" I flip her off.

"Tweek!" Craig pushes me to the side. "I wish I didn't flip people off so much around you. You're starting to take in my habit..."

"What the fuck man! Why is she so...nice?"

"Because...manners?"

"No I meant...ugh! Why is she talking to you so casually!?"

"Well...I guess we're close?"

"Close!?" Tweek exclaimed.

"Yes. Jesus. Stop screaming," Craig winced.

"What is happening here!? She should hate your guts right now!"

"Well...I don't know if-"

"She should be puking at the sight of you!"

"Tweek...that's a hit harsh don't you-"

"She should be screaming at how fucking ugly you are right now!"

"...Wow...okay...you know what. I'm going to give you some space cause...I don't want to deal with any of this right now..." Craig walks away.

"Wait..hold on! I don't actually think you're ugly! Craig? Craig! Come on! I was just kidding! Craig!" I chase after him. Whatever is going on between Red and Craig, I'm ending it right now.

* * *

I put on my yellow track suit. I was ready. I take my backpack and headed out.

"Oh Tweek, where are you going?"

"I'm going out to get my revenge! Kill Bill style!" I exclaimed.

"Oh okay honey. Just don't kill anyone...and make sure to come back home around dinner time."

I sighed, "yes mom..." I started heading to Red's house. She is so going to get it!

Once I reached Red's house, I rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer.

Red was the one to answer. Perfect. "Tweek? Why are you here?"

"I'm hear to take back my boyfriend you skank!" I exclaimed.

"S-skank? What the fuck man?" Red frowns at me. "Look Tweek, whatever you think is happening between me and Craig, it's all a misunder-" I swung my giant mallet at her. "What the fuck!" Red exclaimed as she stared at the mallet. Darn, I missed.

"I'm also doing this Harley Quinn style as well," I smirked. I held up the mallet and started chasing her.

"Tweek! What the fuck! Stop!" Red exclaimed.

"I'll stop when I break every bone in your body!" I shouted. I swung my mallet but only broke a nearby vase.

"You're fucking insane!"

"We've all established that already!" I shouted. I swung my mallet, but kept missing her because she kept dodging.

"Tweek?" I turned around and see Craig. Shit! I forgot he was coming here! "Tweek, what the fuck are you doing!?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting my revenge in both Harley Quinn and Kill Bill style," I sighed and held up my mallet.

"For fuck sake," Craig runs towards me and grabs the mallet.

"Let go!"

"Are you fucking insane? You can get arrested for this!"

"I don't care! I'm not letting her take you away from me!"

"For fuck sake Tweek, she's not taking me away from you! We're cousins!"

I froze. "What?"

"We. Are. Cousins!" Red exclaimed, trying to catch her breath.

"..What!? That has to be the most bullshit excuse ever!"

"Ugh..." Craig walks to a bookshelf and grabs a photo album. He then shows me images of him and Red as kids. They were...family photos... "See?"

"...B-but...she's been ignoring you for years!"

"Yeah, so have Token and Clyde. Everyone stopped hanging out with me when they realized I had a obsession with space. Remember?"

"Y-yeah...the only reason I started being nice to Craig again is because...I felt bad for ignoring him all these years! We're family after all," Red said.

"When she heard that Token and Clyde were my friends again, she wanted to apologized and we just got close again."

"Exactly! So please stop trying to crush my skull with a fucking mallet! I already have a boyfriend you know!"

"W-wait...you do?"

"I'm dating Kevin Stoely!"

"...Who happens to be a huge fan of Star Trek, yet you ignored me for loving space..."

"Another reason why I felt bad and wanted to apologize."

"You suck, Red," Craig said as he flips her off.

"Fuck you too," Red said and flips him off.

"Woah woah woah....so you two are actually...cousins?"

"Yes, if you weren't such a jealous fuck for five minutes, I could have explain this to you," Craig sighed.

"...I feel like throwing up..." I crouched down and started panicking. "Fuck...what the fuck have I been doing?"

"That's what I would like to know..." Craig sighed.

"....Fuck...shit...I've been...really stupid..." I suddenly felt tears falling. What have I been doing? Craig would not like this...he would hate this! What the fuck am I doing? I don't hurt people for a selfish reason...I only do it when it seems the right thing to do...what am I doing? I'm fucking losing it...aren't I? I'm such an ass...ugh... "Y-you probably want to break up with me now...don't you?"

"...A sane person...probably would break up with you."

"..." I cried harder. I'm a fuck up...I shouldn't be dating Craig. Maybe...we weren't meant to be...

"...Luckily for you...I care too much for you," Craig said.

I look up at him. "Huh?"

"Tweek," Craig crouches down and wipes my tears with his thumb. "You have to be the most craziest person I've ever met. You would start fires. Paint nudity everywhere. Have every inch of info on the entire school, you can easily blackmail people, and you love pranking people. How anyone can fall for you, they're insane...so me loving you so much...I guess I'm insane..."

"...That's so...cheesy," I sniffled as I wipe my tears away.

"Yeah well...fuck you," Craig smiles at me and kisses my head. "I love you...okay. I will always love you no matter what. I'll make sure that those monsters in your head never bother you again, so you have to trust me that I'll never leave you."

"...I love you too, Craig," I smiled. I finally stop crying and stand up. I look at Red. I've been a complete jerk...I got to apologize. "Red...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to break your bones with a mallet. Can you forgive me?"

"...Are you insane? Fuck no! You tried to kill me!"

"Come on Red, don't be a dick," Craig sighed.

"I'm not forgiving this fucker!"

"Oh come on," I threw the mallet to the side. "It wasn't like I was actually going to hurt you that bad. I was just going to scare you, that's all," I smiled.

We suddenly hear something breaking to the side. We all looked and saw the book shelf wobbling. It started wobbling forward. God damn it, why did I throw the mallet there?

"Shit!" Craig pushes me to the side and both Red and I hear the bookshelf collapse.

"Craig!" I exclaimed.

"Oh my god! Are you alright?" Red exclaimed.

"I'm fine! But I think...my other arm is broken!"

"...Shit," I said.

* * *

"Annie, I'm sorry for being a dick. I hope you'll forgive me," I said.

"Uh...it's fine...I uh...f-forgive you..."

"Britney, I made sure to get rid of all those photos. I hope you'll forgive me for threatening you with them."

"It's fine...Tweek."

"Rachel...your body is beautiful. Hope you understand that. I'm sorry for using it and threatening you that I would sell a painting of your body...I hope you'll forgive me..."

"It's fine...just...please don't do that again...please."

"I'm really sorry girls! I promise I'll never do something like that to all of you again!" I exclaimed.

I watched as all three of the girls look at each other and then at me. They all gave me an awkward smile before stepping back.

"I-it's fine Tweek...we forgive you...just...please...don't ever...come near us again..." Annie said.

"Y-yeah...and we promise to never flirt with Craig again!"

"Uh huh...so...bye!" All three girls ran away before I could say anything.

"...What was that about?"

"I'm pretty sure all those girls are scared of you since you know...you have all this dirt on them." Token said.

"Oh..."

"Seriously...you have to tell me where you keep getting these photos from. I'm losing sleep over this!" Clyde exclaimed.

"Oh don't worry about it Clyde. I made sure to delete any dirt I collected from you guys," I said.

"Thank you Tweek," Token sighed in relief.

"...But if you ever ditch Craig again, I do have backups and I can easily get new info from you guys," I smirked.

"...Tweek...you scare us sometimes," Token said.

"Y-yeah..."

I smiled, "well...I am the wild child after all." I suddenly see Craig coming to school with Red. I smiled more. "There's Craig! See you guys later!" I rush towards the two and happily smile at them. "There's the two cousins!" I grinned.

"....Yes Tweek, we're cousins, so you don't have to be jealous," Red said.

"Yeah I know. Again, I'm so sorry for yesterday..."

"Just...it's whatever. Craig, I'm going to go find Kevin, you'll be okay on your own?"

"Of course he'll be okay, he has me," I grinned.

"...Right...be...careful Craig."

I watched Red leave and I happily turn towards Craig. "So, how are you?"

"Oh I don't know...maybe the fact that both arms are in a cast now?" Craig said as he glares at me.

"How was I suppose to know my mallet would hit that bookshelf? Also, how was I suppose to know that one of the bookshelf's leg was loose? I blame Red's dad for not fixing that bookshelf in the first place!"

"Whatever," Craig sighed and starts walking.

"Oh come Craig, you can't stay mad at me. You love me," I smiled.

"Yes, I do. But even I have my limits," Craig said.

"But Craaaaaaaaiiiiig!" I whined as I grabbed his arm. He winced in pain. "You said so yourself. You would never leave me no matter how crazy I can be." I smiled.

"...Yes...I did say that...and I meant it."

"Good," I smiled.

That's right...this is Craig. The dork I fell in love with. The dork that loves space. The dork with the dorky glasses. My dork. My adorable dork that I love so much.

"Hey...you know...even though both of your arms are broken right now...I can still give you a blow job," I smirked.

"...Tweek," Craig smiles at me.

"Yes?"

"...I fucking hate you," Craig glares at me and walks ahead.

I laughs, "I know you don't mean that. You love me!" I grinned and chase after him. "Craig! Wait up!"

Craig Tucker is my dorky boyfriend. Everyone better remember that.

_**The end.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, you can find me here on my [Tumblr](http://roseyblogstuff.tumblr.com/)


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